Okay so the title of this makes it sound like I am about to announce something super dramatic but I am not. I just want to give a little update about what sorts of things I have been up to since, besides my post about Vermont, I haven’t blogged since Thailand.
I mentioned in the last blog that I would give a little life update and right now I am currently in the mood to procrastinate in the library before getting my work done… So here we go.
As I sort of began to talk about in the last blog, the first time I went grocery shopping by myself I made the decision that I was going to buy only vegan food and test it out for the first week- week and half. This has been something I have really been wanting to do for a while and now it just seemed to be the perfect time because I get to be 100% in control of what eat. Another mini-update… I am also living in a house off campus with 6 people, therefore I am buying all my groceries and doing all my own cooking.
The challenge with going vegan when I was at home is that I would feel bad making my mom cook something basically completely different. My family has already been extremely accommodating with me being a vegetarian; however, I think that this is just something that would be better for me to get used to on my own so I can already have most of the details figured out about what good meals are for me.
Anyways, I have made my very best attempt at eating a vegan diet for the last month and half. Yes I have messed up a couple times but I can honestly say my intention was fully there, it just so happened that after the fact I learned that “Oh, this product actually have dairy” or “Oh looks they made this with cheese even though I asked for no cheese.”
I have made some incredible dishes too and am loving coming up with new recipe ideas and such. One thing I am hoping to progress to in this blog is actually sharing things like my recipes, favorite meals, taste tests, and what I buy when I go shopping.
Ultimately I want to also start a Youtube channel and do tings such as sampling like 12 different kinds of vegan veggie burgers, which would also be accompanied by a blog post. At this point I am really open to doing whatever. I just think that this is information people sort of look for because being a vegan in college, on a college diet can be hard—especially if you are in transition and kind of have no idea what you are doing (like me).
So the next thing I’m going to be working on is, as of yesterday, I am working on doing things that make me uncomfortable. Because I really need to work on getting out of my comfort zone and breaking through these boundaries because I need to stop holding myself back. I have come to realize that anything that could potentially make me stand out in a crowd is something that makes me uncomfortable. So, I am trying out things like auditioning for solos in the acapella club I am involved in on campus. I honestly have no real intention of getting this solo, my main goal is to make it so one day I get up in front of a room full of people and my hands don’t shake and I don’t start sweating profusely.
That was the start of my mission to do things that make me uncomfortable. Yesterday when I was at rehersal I told myself, “Okay Hannah when they ask who wants to audition for the solo just raise your hand.” That is the hardest part for me. The actual action of saying I am going to do it. So I went with the group out to the other room to audition and immediately as I began to sing I could feel the shaking in my voice. After I was done I literally couldn’t get my hands to stop shaking. I really don’t understand why I get so nervous in that situation because I literally make an idiot out of myself on a daily basis doing simple tasks. Why is it that something I am actually relatively decent at makes me so nervous? Well, it just so happens that they ended up giving the solo to me, so that’s going to be a whole new battle to face next rehearsal—and an even bigger wall to break down when we perform because I know my friends want to come to the performance and maybe only 2 of them have actually heard me sing. Well, this just means I will have more probably embarrassing stories to share with you all.
Today I knew I was going to work out clothes to school so I could exercise after class and I forced myself to put on my neon pink exercise leggings instead of muted blue, grey, or black ones. I have legitimately never worn these pants in public before and that is honestly ridiculous of me to say because I really like the pants and I paid for them. This ones a little less drastic; however, in my opinion it still definitely counts for me because it required me to do something that felt a little bit awkward and out of my norms.
My goal isn’t necessary to do something every day but I think if I have to opportunity to do something of my usual habits or choose the option that makes me step out of my comfort zone I will make myself choose the more difficult option. I think if once a week I can do one big uncomfortable task (like auditioning for the solo) then that would be helpful to me.
Hopefully by doing this I will gain a little more self-confidence because I still find a bit of difficulty when it comes to believing in myself and believing that me alone is good enough. I have come a long way but to lose a little bit of this sense of hesitation would kind of be nice. And if maybe by sharing this I can encourage one other person to do something out of their comfort zone then that is definitely a success! You don’t have to start big, what comfortable to you may be uncomfortable to someone else and what makes you uncomfortable may make someone else feel perfectly okay and it is important to know that that is okay. Maybe your first step is just saying hello to a stranger you pass on the street. Maybe it signing up for something you would normally be scared to do but have always wanted to. Whatever it is, it is important you do it because the fact that it scares you is even more the reason why you should do it.
Well, I think that’s all for now, I kind of went off on a bit of a tangent but Oh well, it’s my blog I can do what I want. J I’m going to try to blog more frequently now to update you on my eating uncomfortable chronicles. As well, hopefully I have some more adventures to share with you all soon. This girl is craving some adventure.
Well, have wonderful days or nights!!!